Being a female on online dating sites opens you up for all sorts of questions. I have compiled a list of the most common questions asked by men (and some women) of me over the years.
1. Yes, they're 100% real and definitely mine. (Yes, it's what you think)
2. I'm straight and not looking to "convert" right now. (Sorry ladies, but thank you anyways!)
3. No, I am not a "cougar". Meow.
4. No, I am NOT interested in meeting you in an hour, tonight or even tomorrow. Don't ask.
5. No, I am not a dominatrix. (WTF?)
6. I prefer men in the 38-55 age group ONLY.
7. No, I am not seeking a "boytoy" or to train anyone.
8. Yes, I am a Parrothead. Yes, I know all the songs.
9. And geez, my "Floridaflyer" handle has no sexual undertones. Really.
10. If you don't know what a Parrothead is, try the internet?
11. Yes, I am somewhat of an alpha female but always kind and respectful to everyone.
12. Yes, I really am Irish. Go figure.
13. No, I don't need to be spanked. No, I don't want to spank you either.
14. No, I won't be your tour guide when you're in town.
15. What kind of undies do I wear? (Ugh!)
16. Am I turned on by men in panties and hose? Seriously? No.
17. I don't care if your wife "misunderstands" you. Or is in prison. Or in a nursing home.
18. You want a pic of my feet? Are you kidding me?
19. No, I do not want to pretend to be your mommy. That's just wrong.
20. No, my pics were not taken during the Reagan Admin. They are all very recent.
21. And...even if you were married and looked like Brad Pitt, I would NOT be interested for ANY reason or excuse you may provide. Got it?
Sadly, all true. No flippin' kidding.
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