Now I Have To Be Blunt...

Being a female on online dating sites opens you up for all sorts of questions. I have compiled a list of the most common questions asked by men (and some women) of me over the years.

1. Yes, they're 100% real and definitely mine. (Yes, it's what you think)
2. I'm straight and not looking to "convert" right now. (Sorry ladies, but thank you anyways!)
3. No, I am not a "cougar". Meow.
4. No, I am NOT interested in meeting you in an hour, tonight or even tomorrow. Don't ask.
5. No, I am not a dominatrix. (WTF?)
6. I prefer men in the 38-55 age group ONLY.
7. No, I am not seeking a "boytoy" or to train anyone.
8. Yes, I am a Parrothead. Yes, I know all the songs.
9. And geez, my "Floridaflyer" handle has no sexual undertones. Really.
10. If you don't know what a Parrothead is, try the internet?
11. Yes, I am somewhat of an alpha female but always kind and respectful to everyone.
12. Yes, I really am Irish. Go figure.
13. No, I don't need to be spanked. No, I don't want to spank you either.
14. No, I won't be your tour guide when you're in town.
15. What kind of undies do I wear? (Ugh!)
16. Am I turned on by men in panties and hose? Seriously? No.
17. I don't care if your wife "misunderstands" you. Or is in prison. Or in a nursing home.
18. You want a pic of my feet? Are you kidding me?
19. No, I do not want to pretend to be your mommy. That's just wrong.
20. No, my pics were not taken during the Reagan Admin. They are all very recent. 
21. And...even if you were married and looked like Brad Pitt, I would NOT be interested for ANY reason or excuse you may provide. Got it?


Sadly, all true. No flippin' kidding.

I Wonder Why The Ratio is Ten Men To One Women?

Seriously?

Note the Confederate flag in the backgroud. Nice touch.

I think going into a convent may be more appropriate for me at this time.

Gawd help me.

Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith

I am not sure why all these 20-25 year old men keep contacting me. Yes, I know, they want to get laid. But why me?

You'd think that there are plenty of young women out there but what's up with a 21 year old looking at a 48 year old woman? A mommy fixation? Looking for a teacher? What?

Well...

I am not going to be someone's "teacher". Too busy for that.

I'm not a "cougar" who needs a young'un to make me feel better about myself. Flattering? Oh yes, but not something I hold in high regard.

I want someone who knows what he is doing and has the same life experiences. More so, knows that it is not all about his satisfaction. Experience is everything...

So, the interest is very nice but I'd prefer a sweet, experienced and imperfect 40-50 year old any day. 

Peace.

Here We Go Again...

Hmmm.... 

I think I caught one. Married, I think. Pretty darn sure...

I always go with my gut and ask alot of questions. I'm getting good at this -- unfortunately.

If someone posts on their online dating profile "No married/attached men", then why waste someone's time? And be flippin' dishonest?  

F*cker. (Sorry, that's the only word that fits.)

If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane. ~Jimmy Buffett

Gee, I received a ton of email about my blog posts. Wow. Oddly enough from some very nice people who encouraged me to write more. 

I am not sure that I will become a regular daily blogger but I will try to post when I can. Life is hectic for me = two states, two homes, two cars, two pets and two mortgages... and only one life to live. All good.

Someone asked me this question today: Who are you?

Answer: Just a good-hearted gal who is simply pushing her personal boundaries but wonders why she continues her membership on an online dating site. I live my life as if it were a constant adventure. Always with passion and humor. Daily education is what keeps me going. I'm always seeking to learn and be enlightened by life's experiences. I am probably someone you'd never expect to see "out there" on a dating site and doubtful if you saw me in Home Depot that I'd turn your head. That's ok. I am just a regular gal with a brain, spine, attitude and most definitely a good heart. And that's fine by me.

So, there you go.

Double WTF...

I was just contacted by a man locally who was interested in an "Adult Nursing Relationship". Huh?

You've got to be kidding me!

Now, I am the first person who tries not to judge people by their kinks but....seriously? Wow.

I think nursing a child is a beautiful thing but... a grown man?? I gotta tell you, us women sometimes feel that we "breastfeed" the world as it is but in an intimate relationship with a 40 year old man ...with a beard? I don't think so...

Xanax may be more comforting...don't you think? Try that.

Double WTF.

What's Up With Bi Chicks?

As Jerry Seinfeld once said... "Not that there's anything wrong with that!"

To all those ladies out there; why do you feel the need to "convince" me that I could possibly be bisexual and not even know it?

I'm not.

I'm cool with anyone's sexuality including mine and quite open-minded about most things. But, it's just not me.

Whatever floats your boat. My boat is just fine and sailing nicely...

Fair Winds and Following Seas. (As the Navy boys say...)

Peace.

Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder.

OK, I can't just focus on the negative when blogging so I shall comment on 2 very nice compliments directed at me today.

"You have brass!"

I am assuming he is talking about testicles though I hope he knows I don't have mine hanging between my legs. I prefer to carry mine in my purse. Us women are much more practical.

"You look awesome for... 48."
I had to think about that one since it sounded a bit backhanded. Gosh, if I was 28, would I only look mediocre? And why does the age have to even be included? But he was sweet enough to clarify his remark so I shall view the intent instead of the words.

Yes, as brutally honest as they sound, it's all good. And I happily accept these nice compliments coming from the male gender.

Aloha.

A Giant, A Midget And A Man With A Chicken....

This sounds like the start of a joke, doesn't it?

It's not.

In a matter of 3-4 days, I've received emails from 2 men -- one was a little person (Midget) in GA and the other was a 7 ft tall man in Poland.

And they kindly included photos of their individual erections with huge smiles on their faces. How nice. My eyes!

I won't even tell you about the man who sent me a pic of him and his pet chicken.

I don't know how much more strangeness I can take.

Seriously. Is it me??

It's All About Perception...

"Moxie - the ability to face difficulty with spirit and courage."
A nice man sent me an email telling me he "liked my moxie". I've heard that word a few times over the years to describe me. But as with anyone's perception, one man's view of "moxie" is another man's "pain in the ass".

Or spunky.

Or gutsy.

Or even b*tch.

I gladly own it all. It's me.

With that said, I cannot help to think about things much more important than this site or what real courage is all about. And the true meaning of the word hero.

We lost 31 young warriors yesterday. Pray for them.
Peace.

He Doesn't Know What He Doesn't Know...

Here we go again...

I received an email from a 19 year old boy. Yes, I say boy because "man" just doesn't sound right.

HotStudxxxx, (yes, that was his handle) at the ripe old age of 19, states that I am exactly what he seeks. He is looking for an older woman to teach him "things".

Yeh, right.

I naturally responded back with a negative and needless to say, I was viewed as being "hateful" and that I "could probably not keep up with him".

Yeh, right.

A 40+ year old woman can't keep up with a 19 year old? What? Don't most teenagers last as long as a drive through at McDonalds? (It's faded out of my memory so I'm not sure.)

He just doesn't know what he doesn't know...

Someday, HotStudxxxx.

Never Ceases To Amaze Me...

It never ceases to amaze me the garbage I get in my mailbox. I got this from a 58 year old married man in the local area:

Iv been faithfully married for almost 40 years. im a retired nuclear engineer & we live comfortably. for almost my entire marriage iv tried to get my wife to get into swinging but she not only refuses we have been to therapy; almost went to divorce. but now iv deceided i want to swing with or without her. so if u would go for that lifestyle; would like to have sex many times a day; i am an expert at eating xxxxxxxxx and  im 7 inches. if i like u, i would leave my wife for u. if u would agree to live that way that means no more work just sex; u can have sex with anyone u want. also im not bad lookng am very clean, not overweight. so lets get together!

Unbelievable. 

A pig with no social skills. Or a clue.

Shoot me now.

I Could Have Written This Myself...

A great article. And well said.

How Many Dates Does It Take? By Amy Waterman

How many dates does it take to make a decision about whether or not you want to pursue a relationship?

I've always been curious about this aspect of dating, because very few women have comparable experiences. With some dates, the knowledge is immediate and instinctual. With other dates, months may pass before the endearing nature of his laugh, his smile, his character becomes apparent.

I know that I am a slow warmer. I am wary when I meet a man for the first time. I am dubious of his intentions. I read innuendo where none was intended. It takes me time to let down my guard. It's not because I'm naturally a suspicious person. It's because, in the realm of relationships, I've been burned enough by bad apples.

I'm representative of most women my age. By one's thirties, one has experienced enough bad relationships to associate the dualities of pain and pleasure with a man. One is never sure how much to trust. But this isn't natural.

Twenty years ago, I loved all boys. I played with them innocently and full-heartedly. Boys were my playmates, my cohorts in crime, and my teammates for games. I could think no evil of boys. Their strange preferences for dirt, body odor, cars, and constrictive underpants were simply idiosyncrasies of fascinating playmates. 

As I grew older, I realized that boys could no longer be trusted to play innocently with me. My first two male friends in college were cool--a jazz musician and an Apple Mac gamer--until I realized they "liked" me. I quickly dissolved the friendships. I wanted the innocent companionship and friendship of my childhood male schoolmates. I didn't realize that maturing would erase that possibility completely.

When do we women lose our innocence with men? And can we ever regain it?

In my line of work, one great danger is to take relationships and attraction too seriously. Many women feel that the potential of the man they are seeing is a matter of life or death. Instead of having fun playing with him (like a child with a favorite playmate), they evaluate his potential as a father. They situate any future relationship squarely in the realm of adulthood. The rest of their lives is at stake.

My roommate tells me that the definition of compatibility as a couple is when his or her issues are compatible with your issues. That's a pretty adult view of the situation.

I have a different view. I believe that you know a man is compatible with you if he likes to play the same "games" you like to play. Maybe you like to tease in a certain way; maybe there's a certain game in bed that you like to play. Maybe you like to go out; maybe you like to mountain bike. If he likes to enjoy himself and have fun and laugh in the same ways as you, you've found a potential soulmate.

We all knew back in childhood that there were some children that we could play with for ages, and there were others who liked games that didn't interest us. It's the same with men and women.

Yet in our attempt to find a suitable man, we often forget to look for one that we have fun with. One that makes the kinds of jokes we find funny (and laughs at our jokes). One that is up for any crazy scheme we propose. One that will make our life happy and light-hearted, not just important and successful.

Life is serious and dry enough. We don't need relationships to replicate those patterns.

Relationships should be a haven from life's dry seriousness. You should be able to feel like a child with your partner, unembarrassed at the silliest of games. Together, you will be responsible for forming a life, raising children, making a home ... but all this will only be enjoyable if you can laugh together.

I have been out on dates with many successful, intense, highly attractive men. I admire them, appreciate them, and learn much from conversations with them. These are the men who will shape the world. No woman can fail to respond to their power.

But as for myself ... in my little, humble world ... I envision my ideal future as one in which there is always laughter, in which I can return to childhood with my spouse and play those games that I didn't get to play enough before I grew "old." I want us to be able to chase one another around the room, have pillow fights, and wrestle. I want us to tease one another, share silly jokes, and dissolve the seriousness of a working day with the magical spell of humor.

So, I suppose, the answer to my question is that it takes exactly the number of dates you need to decide whether you've found a companion you can play with. Some kids find a game they can play with each other right off the bat. Other kids end up trying lopsided games that one but not the other likes until they either find a game they like in common or give up.

Trust your child-heart's instinct. Ask yourself ... if you were a kid, would you play with this guy? Or would he be one of those kids who tries to control the game, or change the rules, or cheat?

A partner who makes life more fun is a treasure indeed.

Poke My Eyes Out With Sharpened Bamboo Sticks...

Just another positive male profile online. It makes me want to run...far, far away!

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.... insert more boring lies... BLAH BLAH BLAH ... Want to meet someone who can argue well... someone with a job, their own friends, an independent personality, a reasonable credit score, at least half a brain, and a smidgeon of integrity wouldn't hurt. Must have two X chromosomes and believe strongly in smacking children early and often when they act inappropriately

A 20 Year Old??

Ugh. Immature? He doesn't even own a car!

hello honey,

my name is kevin and i am 20 years old, i hope thats not too immature for you, i love to please a woman and i love to learn new things! im very adventurous when it comes to intimacy and i love mature women

Im in the navy right now, i just arrived in norfolk virginia last week and im going to school here right now although i dont have a car i do have a nice hotel room that if you wanted we can explore the covers and maybe watch a movie and cuddle afterwards, and if you want to meet up here and have some fun i would love to have you