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Sunday, August 29, 2010
I'm Scared....Really Scared.
I got an email from this 44 year old man who is a BBM (big and beautiful man). His name is Ratman. Shouldn't he be called Merlin or something? Notice his nails. Oh gawd....it's getting worse. I need to move.
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Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
How many of you have ever started dating because you were too lazy to commit suicide? ~Judy Tenuta
Those words in my title ring true some days. And some days I'd rather poke my eye out with an ice pick. But as with everything else in life, it is a necessary evil -- kinda like paying taxes and having your wisdom teeth pulled. Or a lobotomy.
All my married friends ask me "Is it really that bad out there?". Good question. I answer depending on the most recent experience I've had. And of course, they live vicariously through me by hearing my dating adventures; some good, some not-so-good, some bland but more so, downright hysterical. And I've even had a few wonderful experiences with some great guys. Rare but I guess that's how it is supposed to be.
I am not on any sort of "mission" really. Just putting myself out there to cross paths with another kindred soul who can make me laugh and even love again. A good guy who has all his "baggage" stowed under the seat in front of him. Someone who makes my toes curl and my ears tingle -- at the same time. (Now, get your minds outta the gutter!)
So, there you go.
"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. You are the one who'll decide where to go." ~Dr. Seuss
“Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.” ~Scott Adams
All my married friends ask me "Is it really that bad out there?". Good question. I answer depending on the most recent experience I've had. And of course, they live vicariously through me by hearing my dating adventures; some good, some not-so-good, some bland but more so, downright hysterical. And I've even had a few wonderful experiences with some great guys. Rare but I guess that's how it is supposed to be.
I am not on any sort of "mission" really. Just putting myself out there to cross paths with another kindred soul who can make me laugh and even love again. A good guy who has all his "baggage" stowed under the seat in front of him. Someone who makes my toes curl and my ears tingle -- at the same time. (Now, get your minds outta the gutter!)
So, there you go.
"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. You are the one who'll decide where to go." ~Dr. Seuss
“Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.” ~Scott Adams
A Date To PetCo??
You got to wonder if people actually read what they write in their profile. This man suggests he wants to date an intelligent person "capable of an interesting conversation"! Wow. Gee, I am not sure I meet that criteria. Kinda condescending, isn't it? Ugh.
About Me:
Hi. I would like to date an intelligent person capable of an interesting conversation. I would like to meet someone that has interests to share, does not take themselves as seriously as Va. Beach is fake, would like to teach and learn as part of the fun of being with another.
A riding lawn mower with cup holders is a bonus.
First Date:
I really don't want to go on an "interview". But I would like to go to a museum, swimming or Pet
About Me:
Hi. I would like to date an intelligent person capable of an interesting conversation. I would like to meet someone that has interests to share, does not take themselves as seriously as Va. Beach is fake, would like to teach and learn as part of the fun of being with another.
A riding lawn mower with cup holders is a bonus.
First Date:
I really don't want to go on an "interview". But I would like to go to a museum, swimming or Pet
Friday, August 13, 2010
Can I Throw Up Now?
This comes from a man with a handle "Mr Handsome". I kid you not.
A poet,understanding gentleman that works hard to please his mate,Im a writer,of stories and life,I have the words of a masterpiece,the talent of a artist,the heart of a lion,the playfulness of a child,the kiss of slow song under a moon lite nite,the smile of tenderness,the vision of things to come that brands the soul,a stare that makes you feel as if God is looking upon you,a protector,a listener,a teacher,a friend,a lover....
Yak.
A poet,understanding gentleman that works hard to please his mate,Im a writer,of stories and life,I have the words of a masterpiece,the talent of a artist,the heart of a lion,the playfulness of a child,the kiss of slow song under a moon lite nite,the smile of tenderness,the vision of things to come that brands the soul,a stare that makes you feel as if God is looking upon you,a protector,a listener,a teacher,a friend,a lover....
Yak.
Monday, August 9, 2010
And Life Is Just A Fairy Tale...
About my life and what I'm looking for:
I'm a somewhat solitary soul when I'm single, but I enjoy the companionship of a relationship, as well. (Solitary = questionable)
I have been divorced 3 times, but it's not as bad as it may sound at first, so please ask before making a snap-judgement. (Hmmm, divorced three times by the age of 40? Not bad? Wrong!)
My ideal match should be a woman who enjoys companionship, while maintaining her own identity - she should be comfortable in her own skin and able to laugh at the silliness of Life, sometimes - someone who is Romantic, thereby being able to accept being treated as a Princess... (Sounds like he copied this off a million other profiles. And the Princess part scares me. Too "fairy tale" don't you think?)
I'm a somewhat solitary soul when I'm single, but I enjoy the companionship of a relationship, as well. (Solitary = questionable)
I have been divorced 3 times, but it's not as bad as it may sound at first, so please ask before making a snap-judgement. (Hmmm, divorced three times by the age of 40? Not bad? Wrong!)
My ideal match should be a woman who enjoys companionship, while maintaining her own identity - she should be comfortable in her own skin and able to laugh at the silliness of Life, sometimes - someone who is Romantic, thereby being able to accept being treated as a Princess... (Sounds like he copied this off a million other profiles. And the Princess part scares me. Too "fairy tale" don't you think?)
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Now, Why Would I Want To Train Anyone??
This 20 year old male, yes 20 years old, emailed me today. Ugh, I don't want to train anyone at this stage of life. Flattered? Uhhh, no. He could be my son. Double the age, and I am good to go.
Hey there!
I think you are very beautiful and would love to spend a nice night with you! I don't have a whole lot of experience, and looking to possibly learn a few things, and always fantasized being with a beautiful older woman such as yourself! You are still young though. If you would like to chat a little, I'd be glad to! Feel free to email me, xxxxx1989 at yahoo. Hope to hear from you soon! Thanks.
Hey there!
I think you are very beautiful and would love to spend a nice night with you! I don't have a whole lot of experience, and looking to possibly learn a few things, and always fantasized being with a beautiful older woman such as yourself! You are still young though. If you would like to chat a little, I'd be glad to! Feel free to email me, xxxxx1989 at yahoo. Hope to hear from you soon! Thanks.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
If It's Not Men, It's Trying To Understand Them...
Differences Between Man and Women
If Mary, Susan, Claire and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Mary, Susan, Claire and Barbara.
If John, Brad, Tony and Daniel go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Bruno, Scrappy, Peanut-Head and Godzilla.
A man will pay $10 for a $5 item he needs.
A woman will pay $5 for a $10 item that she doesn't need, because it's on sale.
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, razor, shaving cream, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Motel 6.
The average number of items in a woman's bathroom is 328. The average man would not be able to identify most of them.
Women always have the last word in an argument. Anything a man adds after that is the beginning of a new argument.
A successful man is one who makes more money than can be spent by his wife.
A successful woman is one who can find that a man.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
A woman will dress up when she goes shopping, empties the garbage, answers the phone, waters the plants, gets the mail and reads a book.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
A woman knows all about her children. She knows about their best friends, romances, secret hopes and dreams, favorite foods, fears and dental appointments.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
Thoughts for the Day
Married men should forget their mistakes. There is no need for two people to remember the same thing.
God made man before woman so the man would have time to think of an answer for the woman's first question.
What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What Men Want: Tickets for the World Series. ~Dave Barry
Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself - like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks. ~Jean Kerr, The Snake Has All the Lines
Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, "How can he want me the way I look in the morning?" It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve. ~Andy Rooney
If Mary, Susan, Claire and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Mary, Susan, Claire and Barbara.
If John, Brad, Tony and Daniel go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Bruno, Scrappy, Peanut-Head and Godzilla.
A man will pay $10 for a $5 item he needs.
A woman will pay $5 for a $10 item that she doesn't need, because it's on sale.
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, razor, shaving cream, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Motel 6.
The average number of items in a woman's bathroom is 328. The average man would not be able to identify most of them.
Women always have the last word in an argument. Anything a man adds after that is the beginning of a new argument.
A successful man is one who makes more money than can be spent by his wife.
A successful woman is one who can find that a man.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
A woman will dress up when she goes shopping, empties the garbage, answers the phone, waters the plants, gets the mail and reads a book.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
A woman knows all about her children. She knows about their best friends, romances, secret hopes and dreams, favorite foods, fears and dental appointments.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
Thoughts for the Day
Married men should forget their mistakes. There is no need for two people to remember the same thing.
God made man before woman so the man would have time to think of an answer for the woman's first question.
What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What Men Want: Tickets for the World Series. ~Dave Barry
Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself - like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks. ~Jean Kerr, The Snake Has All the Lines
Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, "How can he want me the way I look in the morning?" It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve. ~Andy Rooney
Sunday, August 1, 2010
A Bad Boy...
Alrighty now, he pretty much covered it all.
About Myself:
I AM INDEPENDENT, YET LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO ENJOY LIFE AND GROW OLD WITH. I LOVE TO LAUGH AND HAVE FUN, BEING SILLY AT TIMES AND PLAYFULNESS KEEPS US YOUNG,
I M A HOPELESS ROMANTIC, THAT STILL BELIEVES IN FINDING HIS BEST FRIEND AND SOULMATE.
I LOVE CUDDLING,KISSING, HOURS OF PASSIONATE LOVE MAKING, COOKING, DANCING, BEING SPONTANTEOUS, MUSIC, TRAVELING, WALKS. I BELIEVE IN LIVING LIFE TO THE FULLEST, HOLDINGS YOUR CAR DOOR OPEN FOR YOU, I ENJOY SPOILING THE ONE IM WITH, ( BUT BELIEVES IT WORKS BOTH WAYS ) IM VERY EASYGOING, LOYAL AND KIND TO A FAULT I BEEN TOLD. IM HOPING TO FIND SOMEONE WITH THE SAME GOALS, NEEDS AND DESIRES. I LOVE A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR AND GOOD CONVERSATION AND ROMANCE !!! ARE YOU OUT THERE ??? IS THIS YOU ???\
( LIARS ) KEEP AWAY ! DON'T PLAY GAMES WITH MY HEART!
I value intellect, purposefulness, reliability, sincerity, faithfulness, kindness, tenderness, dignity, integrity, punctuality. I'm looking for a woman who knows what true love is about, a woman who would love and care who will keep her word and isn't afraid to show her feelings, romantic, who loves being surprised. Someone loving and caring, gentle and devoted, faithful and understanding. Best friend,lover,true.
O' Yea I Love long hot wet passionate kissing, I Love spending hours just making hot passionate love. Being a good Lover to my woman is extremely important to me.
I will be your Bad Boy in the bedroom, I'm looking to Play!
If you are bored with your love and sex life, and you are looking for a very Good Friend with Benefits.
Do you have a strong sexual longing and hunger to have the heat of hot passionate love making back into your life? I want to fulfill your deepest, darkest desires in your bedroom. I want to be your hot, passionate lover. I will be the one to unleash your fantasies beyond any of your wildest dreams in the bedroom.
I will take you far beyond anywhere you have ever imagined with any man. I would like to be your friend. and more.
About Myself:
I AM INDEPENDENT, YET LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO ENJOY LIFE AND GROW OLD WITH. I LOVE TO LAUGH AND HAVE FUN, BEING SILLY AT TIMES AND PLAYFULNESS KEEPS US YOUNG,
I M A HOPELESS ROMANTIC, THAT STILL BELIEVES IN FINDING HIS BEST FRIEND AND SOULMATE.
I LOVE CUDDLING,KISSING, HOURS OF PASSIONATE LOVE MAKING, COOKING, DANCING, BEING SPONTANTEOUS, MUSIC, TRAVELING, WALKS. I BELIEVE IN LIVING LIFE TO THE FULLEST, HOLDINGS YOUR CAR DOOR OPEN FOR YOU, I ENJOY SPOILING THE ONE IM WITH, ( BUT BELIEVES IT WORKS BOTH WAYS ) IM VERY EASYGOING, LOYAL AND KIND TO A FAULT I BEEN TOLD. IM HOPING TO FIND SOMEONE WITH THE SAME GOALS, NEEDS AND DESIRES. I LOVE A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR AND GOOD CONVERSATION AND ROMANCE !!! ARE YOU OUT THERE ??? IS THIS YOU ???\
( LIARS ) KEEP AWAY ! DON'T PLAY GAMES WITH MY HEART!
I value intellect, purposefulness, reliability, sincerity, faithfulness, kindness, tenderness, dignity, integrity, punctuality. I'm looking for a woman who knows what true love is about, a woman who would love and care who will keep her word and isn't afraid to show her feelings, romantic, who loves being surprised. Someone loving and caring, gentle and devoted, faithful and understanding. Best friend,lover,true.
O' Yea I Love long hot wet passionate kissing, I Love spending hours just making hot passionate love. Being a good Lover to my woman is extremely important to me.
I will be your Bad Boy in the bedroom, I'm looking to Play!
If you are bored with your love and sex life, and you are looking for a very Good Friend with Benefits.
Do you have a strong sexual longing and hunger to have the heat of hot passionate love making back into your life? I want to fulfill your deepest, darkest desires in your bedroom. I want to be your hot, passionate lover. I will be the one to unleash your fantasies beyond any of your wildest dreams in the bedroom.
I will take you far beyond anywhere you have ever imagined with any man. I would like to be your friend. and more.
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